Barchester Chronicles, episode 7

It’s nice for Eleanor that her desire to marry Arabin the Bore has panned out, but for me, the real highlight of this episode is the clash between Slope and Mrs. Proudie that has been inevitable from the first moment they disagreed with each other. It is every bit of the shit storm fight you could hope for.

Slope is summoned to the bishop’s office, with apparently no idea what awaits him.

52--you rang

“You rang?”

From the start, it is clear the talk will not be a pleasant one for him.

53--she we i need to talk.jpg

“She–We–I need to talk to you.”

54--if i have to take any more shit about a chair today i will stab both of you

“Am I actually allowed to sit? Because if I get any more shit about a chair today, I will stab both of you with a fucking spork.”

Slope tries to argue that if the bishop has something to discuss with him about him, then Mrs. Proudie can leave. His plea is immediately shot down when she ominiously informs him she can then stay because “there’s nothing to duscuss.”

55--she's not allowed to he here for this discussion about me

“Pretty sure it’s in the Magna Carta that I can’t be forced to participate in a discussion in the presence of someone I don’t like.”

56--yeah i do because there is nothing to discuss deal

“Good thing it’s not a discussion, then.”

57--this is a bunch of shit

“This is a bunch of shit.”

The bishop starts off by verbally flailing around and acknowledging that there have been some problems with Slope.

58--i don't like to confront people about their flaws

“If I don’t look at you, it will be like we’re not having a fight.”

Slope presses him to name exactly what he’s done wrong and insists that he is good at his job and is above reproach.

59--i plan awesome parties, i have a notebook of facts, i am the king of diocese scheming what more do you want from me

“I plan awesome parties. I have a handy notebook of facts. I am Obadiah Fucking Slope. Want more could you ever want in a chaplain?”

Mrs. Proudie then cuts in with what has bothered her since Episode 3–his social connection with the Signora. I bet she’d shit if she knew he had proposed to the Signora a couple of episodes ago.

60--of all the things i've done befriending a harlot is the worse

“Of all the evil shit I’ve done in this miniseries, befriending a possible harlot is the worse? For real?”

This shit starts to get intense–but also hilarious–as Slope jumps out of his chair and starts haranguing Mrs. Proudie. He actually makes a valid point–he met the Signora in Mrs. Proudie’s house, so he doesn’t see how she can object on social grounds.

61--you introduced me you scandal monger

“You forget I met the whore in your house.”

62--you will fear my finger

“You will fear my finger.”

63--you can't defeat me this easily

“Well, if that’s all you have to say. . . .”

Slope seems to think that settles the issue, but there’s clearly more the Proudies want to tell him. He seems to think it’s just another issue they want to shout at him about, probably the newspaper article or maybe his shameful treatment of Mr. Q. He’s ready for it, but he insists it must come from his actual boss, not the boss’s wife. Touche, Slope.

64--you have to be the one to say it and I know you won't

“I have to hear it from you, bishop, and not your shrew wife.”

Slope, for all of his scheming, doesn’t seem big on contingency plans and he also seems to think the bishop will be easier on him, so he is absolutely floored when the bishop tells him he’s fired.

65--we should see other people at work everyday

“We should see other people . . . at work . . . everyday.”

67--you will blink before I ever do

68--i asked him to tell me, not you

“I will win this staring contest, motherfucker.”

Slope quickly recovers his sass and machinations by insisting that he has some other tricks up his sleeve if they want to fire him.

69--the newspapers will enjoy this story

“The newspapers will love this.”

70--and i'll sue while i'm at it

“And I will sue while I’m at it!”

Mrs. Proudie does not fear his planned assaults by newspaper and lawyer. Instead, she tells him he can go beg Mr. Q. for a really shitty job in Puddingdale.

71--if you can play nicely with others beg q for a shitty job

“Am I not merciful?”

Slope’s not a big fan of this recommendation.

73--the very name is like shit covered ashes in my mouth

“The suggestion itself tastes like shit-covered ashes in my mouth.”

Slope finally sees that he has no recourse, so he slinks out, but not without having the last word because, let’s face it, he wouldn’t be Slope if he didn’t try to get the last word in.

74--slope out bitches

“Slope out, bitches!”

His dramatic exit is so good that it really deserves a GIF:

The_Barchester_Chronicles_Episode_7_7_Part_4_4 (1) with text.gif

After the eviction of Slope, the series wraps up with a dinner featuring the Grantlys, Harding, Arabin the Bore, and Eleanor. All is well with Barchester–Arabin the Bore will be dean, he will marry Eleanor, Harding will live with them, and Mr. Q. will be the warden.

75--happy ending party

A happy endings party.

And that’s a wrap on The Barchester Chronicles.

Next page: Assorted summaries.

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