Barchester Chronicles, episode 7

We then skip over to the Stanhope house. The Signora has written letters to Eleanor, Arabin, and Slope, and she tasks Bertie with mailing them. She refuses to say what they are for, but Bertie doesn’t give a shit because when you’re lazy and charming like Bertie, you’re usually good-natured too. Their banter is interrupted by their sister, who tells him dad wants to see him and does not seem happy.

10--why are you writing these people

“I’m unemployed, so I can be your mail carrier.”

Bertie’s proposal to Eleanor has made its way to Muttonchops, and he is horrified by the very idea that Bertie would propose to any respectable woman.

11--you are a disgrace

“You are a disgrace.”

12--you're not wrong

“You’re not wrong.”

He tries to ascertain what Bertie wants to do with his life, but he should have foreseen how that conversation was going to end.

13--tell me your life goals

“Tell me your life goals, son.” “What are these life goals you speak of, dad?”

Their father is not as amused with Bertie as the rest of the world is, and he tells him he must leave the home.

14--muttonchops of rage

Muttonchops of rage.

Upon learning their brother must return to Italy, his sisters find the news hilarious, which incidentally Bertie finds it kind of funny too, so at least they’re not being complete assholes here.

15--bro, your suffering is funny

“Bro, your suffering is funny.”

16--i live to serve

“Well, I live to serve.”

And this is the last we see of dear flaky Bertie, more’s the pity.

17--shine on crazy diamond

Shine on, crazy diamond Bertie. Shine on.

Next page: The Signora and her many visitors.

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