Barchester Chronicles, episode 6

Slope comes in and assumes the guise of being sorry about the dean’s health.

15--i'm always sad when people die

“I’m super sad about the dean.”

But he changes gears quickly.

16--we need to take advantage of this

“Speaking of the dean, we should totally manipulate the archbishop when he picks a replacement.”

17--let's not and say we did

“Let’s not and not even say we did.”

The bishop rejects this, saying it’s not his place to make recommendations. Besides, he doesn’t know who he’d mention. Of course, Slope has answers for everything. Slope is cool with it not being the bishop’s place–he doesn’t have to advise, just mention it. And as for who to suggest, well, he’s got that covered too.

18--blink twice if you understand me

“It should be someone you trust. Blink twice if you get my drift.”

19--you never blink twice

*sigh* “You never blink twice!”

20--the correct answer is me captain jackass

“Me! The correct answer is always me!”

21--you.jpg

“You?”

22--the one and only me

“The one and only me.”

Then because Slope is Slope he basically recites a memorized speech justifying his placement in the post.

23--here's my planned unplanned speech

“This is all completely spontaneous. I did not just spend the morning rehearsing this speech.”

24--whatdya say

“What’d’ya say, pal?”

25--you've had worse ideas

“Well, you’ve had worse ideas.”

The bishop consents, though his affirmation is a little less enthusiastic than it may have been just a few weeks earlier. Slope is too busy smirking to notice his boss’s body language.

26--fuck yeah i'm good

“Fuck, yeah, I’m awesome.”

But then, showing more sneak than he gets credit for, the bishop also uses Slope’s joy to mention his decision about the hospital.

27--about the hospital

“In other news, about the hospital. . . .”

28--the hospital

“What about the hospital?”

Though we never get to see what Mrs. Proudie said, she obviously prevailed in the Great Hospital War because the bishop breaks the news to Slope that he’s not going to get his way because Mr. Q. will be the new warden.

29--you didn't mention it to anybody right

“You didn’t mention any of this to Harding, did you?”

30--God no of course i didn't say anything

“Of course I never said anything. Do I look like I said something?”

31--will make Waterloo look minor

“How many people do I have to kill to cover my trail?”

32--must plan new plan

“I may need a new game plan.”

Next time: A social situation presents itself.

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