Barchester Chronicles, episode 5

She marches into the bishop’s office very angrily and demands answers.


The beginning of the battle.

20--taking questions

“I’ll be taking your questions now.”

Slope repeats the bullshit he told Mr. Q to her.

22--no you are

“You are a tiny, insignificant person with no authority.”

21--out of line

As she stresses his lack of actual authority, Slope responds with the verbal equivalent of an upper cut–it doesn’t matter what she thinks because his loyalty is and always has been to the bishop, not her.

23--am not

“Actually, you don’t even have a say in this.”

This culminates in a gloriously childish moment where she tells him to leave, and he tells her she can’t make him. They look to the bishop to referee the fight because that’s what grownups do. He does not relish this challenge.

25--wish I married the water glass

“I wish I were married to this water glass instead.”

I was expecting the meek bishop to grovel to his wife, so it floored me when he declared himself Team Slope. Granted, he was not very bold in this declaration but still. The rebuke to Mrs. Proudie was clear.

26--team slope

“Actually, you know, dear, I’m busy, so Slope needs to stay.”

27--you will die

“I’ll kill you later, husband.”

29--i will die

“She’ll murder me in my sleep.”


“Trying so hard to suppress the urge to engage in celebratory dancing.”

This delightful scene of petty combat concludes with Slope asking if he can contact Harding, and the bishop tells him to communicate with him informally. Hmm. That direction to do so “informally” makes me wonder if the bishop has sneaky plans of his own, though I also wonder if he’s even capable of sneakiness.

Still proud even in defeat, Mrs. Proudie tells Mrs. Q the whole situation is Mr. Q.’s fault anyway for being a dipshit.

30--let's just blame your husband

“It’s obviously your husband’s fault for being an idiot.”

But she hits the roof when Mrs. Q. tells her that Mr. Q. took Slope so seriously because they considered him her personal emissary.

31--slope will pay

“I’m going to exact a ruthless revenge on that conniving little shit.”

Next page: Triumphant Slope tries and fails to celebrate.


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